As the world becomes increasingly polarized, LGBTQIA+ people are under attack. Though Obergefell v. Hodges was a landmark court case in granting same-sex couples the right to marry, many in the LGBTQIA+ community are worried about their rights and safety. In states all over America, bills have been introduced by right-wing politicians to limit access to gender-affirming care, undermine education about the queer experience, and control which bathrooms a person can use. In these troubling times, it’s more important than ever that allies work to support, advocate for, and listen to their friends and family who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Begin with Empathy

Empathy lies at the heart of allyship. It’s important to listen to the stories and experiences of LGBTQIA+ to be a true ally. People within marginalized groups walk through the world differently. Queer people are judged on their appearance, mannerisms, romantic partners, and other things they often cannot control. Many within this community face discrimination, stigma, and rejection from both society and their own families. This can lead to mental health challenges (ranging from mild to severe), money issues, and houselessness. By lending an empathetic ear, allies validate the struggles faced by their LGBTQIA+ friends, family, or colleagues and provide a safe space for them to express themselves authentically.

Remember, being an ally involves more than just passive listening. Actively engage in conversations with the queer people around you. Ask questions with a genuine curiosity and educate yourself on the issues affecting the LGBTQIA+ community. Cultivating empathy means recognizing your own biases and being willing to unlearn conscious and unconscious harmful beliefs.

Create Inclusive Spaces

Being an ally involves actively working towards creating inclusive spaces where LGBTQIA+ individuals feel safe, accepted, and respected. This goes beyond personal interactions, though it’s important to keep friend groups, hangouts, and conversations inclusive and welcoming to all. Inclusivity can also involve advocating for inclusive policies in workplaces, schools, and other community settings.

In workplaces, for example, allies can support initiatives that promote diversity and inclusion, including inclusive hiring practices and workplace policies. Parents might consider setting up an after-school queer book club or advocating for setting up a queer-straight alliance (QSA) at their children’s school. Allies have a unique and privileged position in society, so petitioning for these kinds of spaces to people in power (who are more likely to be cis-gendered and straight themselves) is an important job for LGBTQIA+ allies.

Jump into Advocacy

Community action and advocacy are sorely needed from LGBTQIA+ community allies—cisgender and straight allies that actively stand against discrimination, prejudice, and injustice faced by the LGBTQIA+ community. This might involve speaking out against discriminatory policies, supporting inclusive legislation, or participating in events that promote equality.

Look for nonprofits and non-governmental organizations near you to begin doing the work. See if you can find ways to feed and clothe unhoused queer youth or work toward policy changes in healthcare that benefit the queer community. Direct action can also mean voting in local, state, and national elections for candidates who promise to advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community in policymaking. Allies can also play a big role in educating others within their communities. This might include challenging stereotypes and fostering open dialogues about LGBTQIA+ issues with other cis-gendered, straight people.

Are You Working to Unlearn Biases?

Becoming an LGBTQIA+ ally is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection, education, and action. Remember, being an ally is not about performative gestures or seeking validation; it’s about genuine support and commitment to creating positive change. Many people have implicit (or explicit) biases, religious traumas, and other bigotries learned in childhood that aren’t easy to undo. If you’re struggling to unlearn within yourself, consider talking to a therapist.

To find out more about how therapy can make you a better ally, please reach out to us.