Even as society becomes more accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s still hard to come out. For some people, it’s not the safest option. But hiding your sexuality can take a huge emotional toll. When you feel like you’re living an inauthentic life, you might be struggling with stress, anxiety, and frustration. Here are a few ways to cope with the struggles that come with hiding your sexuality.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Concealing your sexuality can put you in a difficult headspace. You might feel ashamed, guilty, isolated, angry, or frustrated. It’s important to recognize and accept these feelings without judgment. When you free your emotions from judgment, you can better cope with what’s happening.

Accept Yourself

Once you recognize these feelings, you’re better equipped for self-acceptance. It’s time to do some soul-searching. You cannot change who you are, so learn to embrace yourself for all your uniqueness. This can be a time for you to explore your sexual identity and think about it deeply. You might discover you’re more gender-fluid than you thought or that you may have been suppressing your attraction to certain genders.

Educate Yourself

The queer world has plenty to offer. It has a rich culture of artists, performers, historical figures, and even language. When you read and watch other LGBTQIA+ people, you’ll have a better sense that you belong. You’ll also be arming yourself with knowledge, which you can rely on as you begin to come out. This is also a great time to look into queer advocacy and online communities you might want to align yourself with.

Set Boundaries with Others

If it’s family, friends, or work relationships you’re hiding your sexuality from, find ways to limit those interactions. It’s okay to set limits on spending time with people who contribute to your stress. You also don’t owe other people explanations for your boundaries. What’s most important right now is learning to prioritize your needs.

Create a Support System

Even if you’re not ready to live openly all the time, it’s important for your well-being that you find at least one person to confide in. Consider speaking with trusted friends, family members, or support groups. In whatever way you can, try to express your feelings and share your experiences in a safe and confidential space.

Find Safe Spaces

A safe space is where you can be your authentic self, even in small doses. This could be a particular group of friends, an online community, a local queer bar or coffee shop, or even a personal sanctuary. Anywhere you can momentarily feel free from secrecy will help alleviate stress and pressure. If that safe space also involves connecting with others, you might bond with others who are going through similar struggles.

Plan for the Future

While it may not be possible or safe to come out immediately, developing a plan for the future can give you hope and a sense of purpose. Work on developing a roadmap for coming out. This might involve creating financial independence, establishing a solid support network, or looking to move out of state. No matter how hard the journey is, being able to live authentically is worth it.

Talk to a Therapist

No one should deal with the stress of hiding their sexuality alone. A therapist will provide a confidential and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work toward self-acceptance. They may also give you the tools to navigate coming out, making a new life, and talking to unaccepting family members.

To find out more about how therapy can help those who are hiding their sexuality, please reach out to us.