Couples today are more proactive in preparing for a life together.
Yes, being together is a fantastic experience. It pushes us to grow up as individuals and as a couple. After all, it is not all about our needs only from now on. But, the bad news is that we don’t often learn about the different phases of love and relationship. What we know comes from movies, family, friends, etc. . As a result, we end up with unreasonable expectations or a legacy of misunderstandings in our relationship. That is why we have such a high rate of divorce (50-70%). I get many couples who are proactive in preparing for their life together and feel so happy for them! I know they are much more likely to succeed than the average couple that thinks “love will solve everything”.
Are you getting married or planning to live together with your sweetheart?
You may be dating, engaged, or planning to live with someone or marry someday. Regardless, there are certain hints you need to know in preparation for that. If so, consider these questions:
Are you ready?
- Should we marry or not? Move-in together or not? Date a little longer?
- Are you concerned that you are marrying someone like one of your parents? Do you fear you will end up in a similar unhappy relationship?
- Are you excited to be together with your loved one and want to prepare for a happy future together?
- Do you want to give your best shot and learn some skills to help your relationship last, despite the expected highs and lows?
- Are you concerned about it, or just having cold feet?
- Do you know how to turn wedding planning into an enriching experience?
Expectations
- Do you understand what may be coming ahead? Are you thinking of the different phases of a life-long relationship?
- What do you expect from the 1st honeymoon year? And the following years?
- How will you manage friends and families? Finances, kids, intimacy, etc?
- Are you prepared to deal with the “good times and bad times” of a long-term relationship?
- Do you believe that “all you need is love?” i.e., that love alone will help you face future difficulties in effective ways?
- How is your communication during good and bad times?
- Do you know the premarital factors that best predict a satisfying marriage?
Assessment & Improvement
- Do you know that by assessing your relationship, you and your partner can learn how to use your strengths as a couple to deal with differences?
- Do you understand the differences in personality between you and your partner? How will you deal with such differences?
- Can you see the strengths that each of you brings to the relationship? Do you know how to use these differences to your relationship’s advantage?
- You are in love. But, have you assessed yourself and your relationship in order to prepare for a happy future together?
- Once you learn about your assessment results, you and your partner can use them to improve your self-awareness and your acceptance of each other. Plus, you can create strategies to deal with trauma or other difficult moments.
My Approach to Premarital Counseling in West Des Moines, IA
Premarital counseling takes 6 weekly sessions. An assessment occurs, and the results are interpreted. Then, we will meet to set goals for improvement. We will have conversations about a variety of important topics. This may include:
- Personality differences
- Roles in the relationship
- Intimacy issues
- Having children or not
- Dealing with in-laws, etc.
My approach involves interpreting test results and setting goals for improvement. We will also discuss other vital topics related to marriage. These may include finances, roles in marriage, intimacy issues, having children, dealing with in-laws, etc. Premarital counseling help couples improve communication skills, awareness, and acceptance. A premarital counselor can help foster self-esteem and a realistic, positive attitude towards marriage.
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). As a result, I have unique training and qualifications to help couples with premarital counseling. An experienced MFT understands the diverse dynamics of couples and their relationships. They are prepared to assist couples with any issues that may arise.
Learn the skills to feel empowered in your relationship. Set an appointment here with Joseli Alves-Dunkerson, LMFT.
Begin Premarital Counseling in West Des Moines, IA
Starting premarital counseling doesn’t mean something is wrong with your relationship. Instead, it shows that you are dedicated to creating a strong, long-lasting relationship. Our team of caring therapists would be honored to support you in connecting with your partner, and overcoming any premarital concerns you may have. We offer support from our West Des Moines, IA-based counseling practice. To start your therapy journey, please follow these steps:
- Contact us online, either to ask a question or set an appointment.
- Start preparing for your life together, and gain peace of mind!
