How Online Infidelity Affects Relationships
Affairs happen for many reasons. With increases in how much time we spend online, the rates of internet infidelities have also gone up. Even though online relationships take place in the digital sphere, their hurt is as real as a physical affair. But an online infidelity doesn’t mean your relationship can’t recover with openness, honesty, setting new boundaries, and rebuilding trust.
What is Online Infidelity?
An online relationship is usually characterized by exchanging messages, forming an emotional connection, and even sending nude photos and engaging in cybersex. One also could potentially have multiple partners across different online platforms. Depending on the monogamous parameters of their primary relationship, the number of online affair partners can add to the severity of this betrayal. Online affairs usually have a strong emotional and sexual connection despite a lack of physical touch.
How Does an Online Affair Affect Your Relationship?
An online affair will have the same effects on your relationship as an in-person affair. The relationship likely had dysfunctional communication before the affair, which will most likely worsen after the infidelity is brought to light. The betrayed partner will most likely feel a loss of trust and become suspicious of their unfaithful partner’s behavior. They’ll also have lowered self-esteem, wondering what they did to cause their partner to stray. Both negative effects can lead to sexual and intimacy issues since trust is the bond that allows a deep emotional and physical connection to flourish.
The hurt partner might go through many emotions, such as shock, anger, disgust, and shame. The cheating partner might also feel shame and embarrassment but also get defensive. They may downplay the severity of their infidelity. Some might think the emotional stakes are lowered when all their interactions happen through a screen. But they must acknowledge the emotional trauma inflicted on their partner if the relationship will survive. This emotional component has to be reckoned with and understood on their part. The unfaithful partner needs to get at the root of the issue that led them to seek someone outside your partnership.
Tips for Recovering After an Online Infidelity
1. Set Boundaries to Rebuild Trust
In the time directly after the affair is found out, the unfaithful partner should become transparent about their online activity. They’ll need to sacrifice some of their privacy to rebuild trust. Being held accountable shows their commitment to staying in this relationship. They should also cut contact with their online lovers. There may also be times when they need to give their partner space, and the hurt party should advocate for themselves. Sometimes, getting distance is the first step to forgiveness.
2. Address Emotional Roots
Affairs typically don’t happen in a vacuum. There’s an issue at the center that needs to be worked through. The cheating partner may have strayed because they weren’t having some emotional needs met. Or it might boil down to sexual dissatisfaction, depression, or other life change. Nevertheless, it’s never the betrayed partner’s fault. When you address these root causes, they should be discussed openly and honestly as you look for a solution.
3. Spend Time Together
While you may need some distance from each other at first, committing to rebuild intimacy is key. When you prioritize time together, there’s less desire to find online connections. Spending time together also helps reignite the spark that made you fall in love.
Moving on With Therapy
Many relationships survive infidelity. We mostly hear about couples that break up when someone cheats, but in reality, many are improved afterward. When you’re both committed to repairing your relationship, you’re more likely to turn this trauma into something positive. If you’re struggling with rebuilding trust, a couples counselor can help you get there.
Please reach out to us to find out more about how therapy can help you and your partner recover after online infidelity.
