For those in the LGBTQIA+ community, this is a scary time. Rising transphobia and queerphobia are influencing political movements, and anti-queer sentiment is emboldening violence across the United States.

On a micro-level, people might hesitate to come out to friends and family depending on their political and religious leanings. If you’re not out of the closet, you’re not alone. You might be feeling isolated and overwhelmed, which can eventually take a toll on your mental and physical health.

If you’re not living openly yet, here are a few ways to cope with that stress.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

However you’re feeling—stressed, worried, ashamed, guilty, frustrated—is normal. You might even find yourself on a roller coaster of emotions, which can be overwhelming in itself. It’s important to recognize and validate these feelings. Give yourself permission to have these emotional reactions, and name them as they come along. Being able to name the emotions you’re feeling is an important step in caring for your mental health.

2. Educate Yourself About the Queer Struggle

Knowledge is power and the experiences of others like you can be empowering. Read up on the history and achievements of the LGBTQIA+ community. If you have any particular interests or hobbies, look up queer people who have made strides in that field.

Understanding the diversity and history of LGBTQIA+ movements can help you feel more connected and less alone. Try reading books, watching documentaries, or doing an internet deep-dive to learn something new about your community.

3. Find Support

You shouldn’t have to face the challenges of hiding your sexuality alone. Try creating a support system you can trust. This might include close friends or family members you can be sure won’t out you to anyone.

If you can’t be out to anyone close to you, consider finding support spaces online. There are communities all over the internet where you can connect with people in similar situations. Any kind of support network can be a safe space for you to express yourself and feel encouraged.

4. Don’t Neglect Your Self-care

When stressed, it’s easy to forget about your body and mind. Try getting into a self-care routine that reconnects you with your body and brings you joy. This can include anything that makes you happy: exercise, journaling, meditation, spa days, cooking, crafting, or exploring the outdoors.

You might even find ways to express your queer identity—changing up your clothing style, painting your nails, or listening to music. When you incorporate your identity into your self-care routine, you’ll feel empowered and validated, even if it’s just to yourself.

5. Make a Plan for the Future

While it may not be feasible to come out any time soon, you may find it empowering to make a concrete plan to live openly. Consider setting realistic goals and timelines for when and how you might share your authentic self with others.

You might even consider planning to change locations or careers, depending on how hostile your environment is to those in the LGBTQIA+ community. Having a roadmap can give you a sense of control and purpose in the face of this frustration.

6. Talk to a Therapist

For some people, a therapist is the only person they’re out to. Find a trusted mental health professional who can help you navigate the stresses of not being out to everyone. This is especially important if this stress is impacting your day-to-day functioning. Professional counseling can give you the confidential space to explore your complex feelings and work toward making plans to be out.

To find out more about how therapy can help those in the LGBTQIA+ community, please reach out to us.