If you’ve recently gone through a breakup, you might be wondering when’s the right time to put yourself out there again. Some people swear by the three-month rule, which states that for each year you were in a relationship, you stay single for three months. But emotions and relationships are subjective, so sticking to a hard and fast rule sometimes doesn’t make sense. What’s more important is processing the relationship and emotionally preparing yourself for someone new. Here are a few ways you can be sure you’re ready to date again and how to prepare yourself.

How Do You Know It’s the Right Time to Date Again?

1. You’re living a full life.

People sometimes get lost in a relationship. But a strong sense of self is key to starting a new, healthy relationship. If you’ve got your own hobbies, interests, income, and social life, you’re cultivating a solid personality. When you’re creating happiness within your own life, it’s a sign you’re ready to let someone in.

2. You handle life’s curveballs.

People secure in their emotions allow life’s difficulties to pass through them. When you’ve exited a relationship, you’ve got to handle your stressors on your own. Coping with stress and anxiety in a healthy, productive way isn’t easy. Once you know how to deal with anxiety and life’s tougher moments, you’re an emotionally stable person who’s more capable of entering a new relationship.

3. You’re not comparing new people to your ex.

Feeling freed from your past relationships is one sign of being ready to date again. Even if you think about how horrible your ex was compared to your new date, it might mean you’re not ready to move on. Consider each person on their own terms and consider each potential relationship a new opportunity.

Before Getting Into Your Next Relationship, Make Sure You:

1. Rediscover yourself

You can’t be a full partner in a new relationship if you don’t know yourself fully. While you’re single, take the time to rediscover what it means to be you. Suddenly you don’t need to watch the same series as your ex or cater to their food preferences. You have the time to learn what you prefer to do. When you prioritize yourself, you’ll enter a new relationship as a more dimensional person who can advocate for themselves.

2. Reflect on your old relationship

In most cases, relationships don’t end because of one person. In fact, it didn’t work out for a reason (or many). When you can, take a realistic look back and take accountability for the flaws in the partnership. This will help you understand your role in boundaries, communication, and being in a relationship. Make a list of your new expectations before you start dating again. Once you know how you fit into the puzzle, you can better advocate for yourself and set your dealbreakers.

3. Take things slow

As you begin to date again, there’s no rush to find the perfect match immediately. Enjoy getting to know new people and allow your new relationships to develop naturally. It’s also okay to have casual relationships at this time! Taking it slow can also help you better understand what you really want in a partner.

4. Confront your emotional issues

A great way to process the pain of a breakup is with a therapist. In therapy sessions, you can deconstruct how and why you and your ex weren’t a good fit. Your therapist can help you discover how to set strong boundaries, advocate for yourself, communicate better, and understand your attachment style.

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To find out more about how therapy can prepare you for a new relationship, please reach out to us.